GRIEVING MAN
Friday, May 29th - Sunday May 31st 2026
Led by Brian 'Yam' Dwyer, Elia Serras, & Jordan Lyon | Eldered by Collin Brown & Laurence Cole
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Led by Brian 'Yam' Dwyer, Elia Serras, & Jordan Lyon | Eldered by Collin Brown & Laurence Cole
- - - - - - - -
"Oh my brother, every problem that has troubled you
has troubled me, also."
- Khalil Gibran
Fellow brothers, fathers, sons, uncles, elders-in-training & the like,
with our hearts open and tender, strong and resilient, we humbly and enthusiastically invite you to an emergent and loving gathering for men called Grieving Man.
WHAT IS IT?
Grieving Man is a friendship-led, land-based, relational and musical healing space. It is a ritual container that welcomes in the multi-faceted expressions of grief, joy, anger, desire, fear, longing (etc.) — emotions that are so often suppressed and stuck in our bodies — to be honored, expressed and, ultimately, transformed in the sacred witness of other men.
- - - - - - - -
"Rituals are the churches without walls, the antidote to our denial. Feeling together can both bring us together and free us."
- Prentis Hemphill (What It Takes To Heal)
WHY IS IT HAPPENING?
As beings socialized as men, most of us were taught at an early age not to show certain emotions. But the truth is, we do feel deeply. We are sensitive beings. We experience loss, love and sorrow. We feel our shames and fears. We are moved by beauty. We hold anger and rage that isn’t inherently destructive, but is a deep cry of the heart. Grieving Man is a space to dive deep into the waters of collective depth, attunement and belonging, together.
Within this container we will explore and expand the edges of what is possible for the transformation and healing of the masculine. We will work to cultivate a community of men that show up, support, and hold each other accountable as we continue to remember and become the men we are meant to be.
This is a place to try things out, unlock our hearts and encourage one another to explore our depths as men. Through us gathering, in presence and emergence, we will cocreate a space together that leans into the collective intelligence of the group for its wisdom and direction. Through land-based practices, emergent ritual, collaborative singing, music, rhythm, nourishing food, embodied movement, and more we will access and express our grief, our joy, our desire, and the many emotional currents that move in our depths but are so often ignored, rejected or shamed in our pre-dominant monoculture.
We do this tender work so that we can show up for ourselves, our families and our communities with more fullness and presence. We do this with the intention of learning how to acknowledge and transform our personal and global grief into something that opens us up to the true preciousness of life—something that is beautiful, generative and nourishing for each of us, our loved ones and the greater web of life of which we are all a part.
- - - - - - -
"Grief is praise, because it is the natural way love honors what it misses."
- Martín Prechtel
WHAT CAN I EXPECT?
Expect tears, big laughs, tender heartache and healing touch. Expect to feel things. Expect realness and an encouragement to be vibrant, beautiful, and messy in our aspirations toward wholeness. Expect to be offered a courageous space to loosen your armor, let go of your masks, and break down (see also: break through!) with the essential aid of supportive brotherhood and care.
This invitation is one that asks you to sense into this healing, life-giving culture of the masculine that many of us have not yet experienced, but are longing for. We don’t have the answers—we aren’t experts in this work. We are simply answering the call of our hearts, and inviting others to answer theirs with us.
- - - - - - - -
WHY ONLY MEN? WHY NOT INVITE EVERYONE?
It's no secret that the unchecked, untouched wounding of men has caused (and is causing) the earth great harm. In light of that, it is now our sacred responsibility to gather as men to tend to those wounds with each other. The energy behind a container aimed specifically toward men is in no way intended to be exclusionary. As men, a lot of us need to be doing this deep and tender work with other men, in a container where sacred masculinity is being given a chance to heal itself in the witness of other men. We do this work together in an effort to not continue causing harm and burdening the collective that we have impacted and exhausted for so long.
A lot of men are just beginning their journey into the deep, heart-opening work of grief tending. It is tender work and the container is held to honor and protect that opening into vulnerability.
- - - - - - - - - - -
WHAT DO WE MEAN BY "MEN"?
For this specific offering, we invite all those who identify as a man or male, as well as anyone who has been socialized as a man or male anytime in their life. If you've been shaped by, and internalized, the cultural conditioning that is given to men, often in childhood, then this container may be for you.
If you would feel burdened or deeply uncomfortable in the extended presence of a group of men being honest and real about the ways they have experienced and participated in painful patterns of men, then this container may not be the best space. We will be attending to the experiences of men, and those socialized as men, in order to give room for deeper insight and re-patterning.
If you have any questions or concerns about who this gathering is for or how we will cultivate a culture of belonging, safety, and accessibility for those in attendance, please reach out to Jordan at [email protected].
*Also, for those interested in a healing retreat like this but doesn't feel like this would be for them, please feel free to reach out and we can point you in directions of other community offerings that align with other identities and affinity groups.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
"We need ritual because it is an expression of the fact that we recognize the difficulty of creating a different and special kind of community. A community that does not have ritual does not exist."
- Malidoma Patrice Somé
LINEAGE OF TEACHERS
The style of grief ritual in this container is informed by - but not a direct descendant of - the teachings and offerings of Malidoma Patrice Somé, Sobonfu Somé, The Dagara People of Burkina Faso, West Africa, Resmaa Menakem, Francis Weller, Joanna Macy, Martín Prechtel, Laurence Cole, Thérèse Charvet, Tere Carranza, Collin Brown, ahlay blakely, and others. We would not be doing this work without each of them being who they are, especially those from the PNW who have stewarded this work for the past years and decades in this Cascadia bio-region. We give thanks and praise to each of them for their ongoing guidance, and recognize that none of what we are offering would be possible without their vital contributions to the world of grief-tending.
has troubled me, also."
- Khalil Gibran
Fellow brothers, fathers, sons, uncles, elders-in-training & the like,
with our hearts open and tender, strong and resilient, we humbly and enthusiastically invite you to an emergent and loving gathering for men called Grieving Man.
WHAT IS IT?
Grieving Man is a friendship-led, land-based, relational and musical healing space. It is a ritual container that welcomes in the multi-faceted expressions of grief, joy, anger, desire, fear, longing (etc.) — emotions that are so often suppressed and stuck in our bodies — to be honored, expressed and, ultimately, transformed in the sacred witness of other men.
- - - - - - - -
"Rituals are the churches without walls, the antidote to our denial. Feeling together can both bring us together and free us."
- Prentis Hemphill (What It Takes To Heal)
WHY IS IT HAPPENING?
As beings socialized as men, most of us were taught at an early age not to show certain emotions. But the truth is, we do feel deeply. We are sensitive beings. We experience loss, love and sorrow. We feel our shames and fears. We are moved by beauty. We hold anger and rage that isn’t inherently destructive, but is a deep cry of the heart. Grieving Man is a space to dive deep into the waters of collective depth, attunement and belonging, together.
Within this container we will explore and expand the edges of what is possible for the transformation and healing of the masculine. We will work to cultivate a community of men that show up, support, and hold each other accountable as we continue to remember and become the men we are meant to be.
This is a place to try things out, unlock our hearts and encourage one another to explore our depths as men. Through us gathering, in presence and emergence, we will cocreate a space together that leans into the collective intelligence of the group for its wisdom and direction. Through land-based practices, emergent ritual, collaborative singing, music, rhythm, nourishing food, embodied movement, and more we will access and express our grief, our joy, our desire, and the many emotional currents that move in our depths but are so often ignored, rejected or shamed in our pre-dominant monoculture.
We do this tender work so that we can show up for ourselves, our families and our communities with more fullness and presence. We do this with the intention of learning how to acknowledge and transform our personal and global grief into something that opens us up to the true preciousness of life—something that is beautiful, generative and nourishing for each of us, our loved ones and the greater web of life of which we are all a part.
- - - - - - -
"Grief is praise, because it is the natural way love honors what it misses."
- Martín Prechtel
WHAT CAN I EXPECT?
Expect tears, big laughs, tender heartache and healing touch. Expect to feel things. Expect realness and an encouragement to be vibrant, beautiful, and messy in our aspirations toward wholeness. Expect to be offered a courageous space to loosen your armor, let go of your masks, and break down (see also: break through!) with the essential aid of supportive brotherhood and care.
This invitation is one that asks you to sense into this healing, life-giving culture of the masculine that many of us have not yet experienced, but are longing for. We don’t have the answers—we aren’t experts in this work. We are simply answering the call of our hearts, and inviting others to answer theirs with us.
- - - - - - - -
WHY ONLY MEN? WHY NOT INVITE EVERYONE?
It's no secret that the unchecked, untouched wounding of men has caused (and is causing) the earth great harm. In light of that, it is now our sacred responsibility to gather as men to tend to those wounds with each other. The energy behind a container aimed specifically toward men is in no way intended to be exclusionary. As men, a lot of us need to be doing this deep and tender work with other men, in a container where sacred masculinity is being given a chance to heal itself in the witness of other men. We do this work together in an effort to not continue causing harm and burdening the collective that we have impacted and exhausted for so long.
A lot of men are just beginning their journey into the deep, heart-opening work of grief tending. It is tender work and the container is held to honor and protect that opening into vulnerability.
- - - - - - - - - - -
WHAT DO WE MEAN BY "MEN"?
For this specific offering, we invite all those who identify as a man or male, as well as anyone who has been socialized as a man or male anytime in their life. If you've been shaped by, and internalized, the cultural conditioning that is given to men, often in childhood, then this container may be for you.
If you would feel burdened or deeply uncomfortable in the extended presence of a group of men being honest and real about the ways they have experienced and participated in painful patterns of men, then this container may not be the best space. We will be attending to the experiences of men, and those socialized as men, in order to give room for deeper insight and re-patterning.
If you have any questions or concerns about who this gathering is for or how we will cultivate a culture of belonging, safety, and accessibility for those in attendance, please reach out to Jordan at [email protected].
*Also, for those interested in a healing retreat like this but doesn't feel like this would be for them, please feel free to reach out and we can point you in directions of other community offerings that align with other identities and affinity groups.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
"We need ritual because it is an expression of the fact that we recognize the difficulty of creating a different and special kind of community. A community that does not have ritual does not exist."
- Malidoma Patrice Somé
LINEAGE OF TEACHERS
The style of grief ritual in this container is informed by - but not a direct descendant of - the teachings and offerings of Malidoma Patrice Somé, Sobonfu Somé, The Dagara People of Burkina Faso, West Africa, Resmaa Menakem, Francis Weller, Joanna Macy, Martín Prechtel, Laurence Cole, Thérèse Charvet, Tere Carranza, Collin Brown, ahlay blakely, and others. We would not be doing this work without each of them being who they are, especially those from the PNW who have stewarded this work for the past years and decades in this Cascadia bio-region. We give thanks and praise to each of them for their ongoing guidance, and recognize that none of what we are offering would be possible without their vital contributions to the world of grief-tending.
our team of facilitators
This offering comes from the hearts, minds and souls of Brian 'Yam' Dwyer, Elia Serras, and Jordan Lyon and is eldered by Collin Brown and Laurence Cole.
BRIAN 'YAM' DWYER
Brian is a community song leader, music weaver, rhythm bringer and student of emergent ritual space. He knows music to be a living line of connection and communication to our ancestors, the wider cosmos and our more-than-human kin. Brian has been a student of music, rhythm and improvisational singing for over 30 years, has been studying ritual, transformative men's work and ceremonial spaces for 7 years, and has been holding grief-tending space with other men and community members in the Cascadia Bio-region since 2022.
He currently resides on the unceded ancestral lands of the Lummi, Nooksack and other Coast Salish peoples (otherwise known as Bellingham, WA), where he is a dedicated friend, villager, co-parent and father of an 11-year-old child.
Brian is a community song leader, music weaver, rhythm bringer and student of emergent ritual space. He knows music to be a living line of connection and communication to our ancestors, the wider cosmos and our more-than-human kin. Brian has been a student of music, rhythm and improvisational singing for over 30 years, has been studying ritual, transformative men's work and ceremonial spaces for 7 years, and has been holding grief-tending space with other men and community members in the Cascadia Bio-region since 2022.
He currently resides on the unceded ancestral lands of the Lummi, Nooksack and other Coast Salish peoples (otherwise known as Bellingham, WA), where he is a dedicated friend, villager, co-parent and father of an 11-year-old child.
ELIA SERRAS
Elia is an EcoSomatic facilitator and guide for individuals, groups and organizations. His work is to empower embodied belonging through Truth, Healing, and Wholeness. Contact with wilderness saved his life as a younger man and inspired him to live and learn in communities ranging from traditional villages to contemporary Ecovillages in 11 different countries.
Elia is a cofounding teacher of Great Earth School, and a facilitator on multiple Jam teams with YES! He has been working with men and masculinity throughout the US since 2018 with several organizations including Mankind Project, Sacred Sons, and Kinhood.
He currently lives in a cabin in the woods on the Olympic peninsula, and can often be found singing, dancing or breaking bread wherever the village fire is burning bright. See more at EcoSomaBe.
Elia is an EcoSomatic facilitator and guide for individuals, groups and organizations. His work is to empower embodied belonging through Truth, Healing, and Wholeness. Contact with wilderness saved his life as a younger man and inspired him to live and learn in communities ranging from traditional villages to contemporary Ecovillages in 11 different countries.
Elia is a cofounding teacher of Great Earth School, and a facilitator on multiple Jam teams with YES! He has been working with men and masculinity throughout the US since 2018 with several organizations including Mankind Project, Sacred Sons, and Kinhood.
He currently lives in a cabin in the woods on the Olympic peninsula, and can often be found singing, dancing or breaking bread wherever the village fire is burning bright. See more at EcoSomaBe.
JORDAN LYON
Jordan is a grief tender, ritualist, and chef. His work and life strives to cultivate relationships, communities, and cultures of healing, transformation, and reconnection with this living world and her natural rhythms and spirit. He shares his love of food and nourishing others by tending the hearth. He cocreates prayerful rituals to honor cycles of life, death, and rebirth in each of our journeys to heal, love, and express our gifts in the world. He tends to individual and collective grief as our deepest teacher and guide in this time of the Great Unraveling and Great Turning.
He embraces a role as a “culture doula”—one who hospices the dying of cultures based on separateness, extraction, and domination to help birth ones of regeneration, reciprocity, and right relationship. He lives in community on the healing grounds of Sacred Groves, tending to the land, elders, and community there with deep humility, gratitude, and love. Learn more at jordanlyon.com.
Jordan is a grief tender, ritualist, and chef. His work and life strives to cultivate relationships, communities, and cultures of healing, transformation, and reconnection with this living world and her natural rhythms and spirit. He shares his love of food and nourishing others by tending the hearth. He cocreates prayerful rituals to honor cycles of life, death, and rebirth in each of our journeys to heal, love, and express our gifts in the world. He tends to individual and collective grief as our deepest teacher and guide in this time of the Great Unraveling and Great Turning.
He embraces a role as a “culture doula”—one who hospices the dying of cultures based on separateness, extraction, and domination to help birth ones of regeneration, reciprocity, and right relationship. He lives in community on the healing grounds of Sacred Groves, tending to the land, elders, and community there with deep humility, gratitude, and love. Learn more at jordanlyon.com.
Our elder Team
laurence cole
I was born in 1943, during the 2nd World War. My earliest memories are of living in Los Angeles before freeways. So I’m kinda old. I’ve had many good teachers, whom I revere and thus seek to pass along their insights, wisdom and useful practices. Much of those teachings have been a quite useful fit for my work in co-facilitating, with similarly experienced folks, an ever evolving process of communal grief tending.
For many years, I have also been writing and leading songs with groups of people all over North America. Group singing is a birthright of everyone, and a vital and natural part of community ritual. Such rituals have been universally utilized as living and natural “technologies of belonging and connection”since time immemorial. It is my great and humble honor to assist in passing along these perennial gifts and blessings from our deep time ancestors.
For many years, I have also been writing and leading songs with groups of people all over North America. Group singing is a birthright of everyone, and a vital and natural part of community ritual. Such rituals have been universally utilized as living and natural “technologies of belonging and connection”since time immemorial. It is my great and humble honor to assist in passing along these perennial gifts and blessings from our deep time ancestors.
Collin brown
Collin Brown is a seeker, healer, teacher, personal coach, and a wilderness guide with the School of Lost Borders. He has delved deeply into the mysteries of eros, love, death, and embodiment. As the director of the Body Electric School for fifteen years, he developed curricula using breath, massage, and eros to help people feel more alive in their bodies. He has explored the healing potential of entheogens (plant medicine) for 25 years.
He continues to find depth, curiosity and compassion while working with people through the landscapes of their minds and bodies. He is drawn to the work of initiation as a life-long adventure that allows us to be fully expressed at all stages of our living and dying. Collin has lived on the edge of the Salish Sea for 23 years in Port Townsend, WA, and has a 28 year-old daughter named Molly who lives in Anchorage, Alaska.
He continues to find depth, curiosity and compassion while working with people through the landscapes of their minds and bodies. He is drawn to the work of initiation as a life-long adventure that allows us to be fully expressed at all stages of our living and dying. Collin has lived on the edge of the Salish Sea for 23 years in Port Townsend, WA, and has a 28 year-old daughter named Molly who lives in Anchorage, Alaska.
SCHEDULE
This Grieving Man offering is a 3-day gathering staring on Friday, May 29th and ending on Sunday, May 31st. We're asking men to arrive between 11:30-1:30pm on Friday (please come having eaten lunch!). We will start our opening circle promptly at 2pm. We will then have a dinner at 6pm followed by a song and grief ritual. Saturday will be a full day of group processes, songs, story sharing, and connection with the land that includes a breakfast, lunch, dinner, and ends with a Dagara Grief Ritual. After some deep rest, Sunday will close out our time together with a big breakfast, sharing circle, dance, a Truth Mandala ritual from the Joanna Macy Work That Reconnects lineage, and finish up with a big feast and closing circle. We will finish up on the land around 4pm/5pm Sunday.
ACCOMMODATIONS AND FOOD
We will be asking all attendees to bring their own camping gear (tents, sleeping pads, bags, and pillow) to meet their own needs. There will be beautiful spots on the land to camp.
All of meals will be provided throughout the weekend by an amazing team of chefs. There will be vegan and gluten free options for those needing them. Please let us know any other food or dietary restrictions you have through the registration questions. Ample snacks will be provided throughout the weekend too.
RECIPROCITY
The cost of this event should not be a barrier to your feeling the call. Making this experience accessible to as many men as possible is important to us. That being said, the cost of this ritual exists so that the land, facilitators and organizers may be resourced. We offer scholarships to create as much flexibility in our pricing to meet the needs of all who are interested in showing up for this work.
We also have scholarships available for those who are feeling the call to join Grieving Man but are feeling financial scarcity in their life. We prioritize offering scholarships to People of The Global Majority and working-class, cash poor families. For further inquiry please contact Jordan at [email protected].
Refund Policy: Partial refunds of 50% are available up to 14 days prior to the event date. After this period, refunds are no longer available. This policy helps to hold us all accountable and creates some protection for the facilitators and organizers. We ask that you notify as soon as possible if you are no longer able to attend.
Grieving Man donates 5% of net revenue towards building infrastructure for healthy water access for the Dagara Tribes of Burkina Faso, West Africa in reciprocity for the ripples of communal grief work Sobonfu + Malidoma Somé brought to the west in the 80's + 90's as an antidote to colonialism.
The sliding scale framework used here is based on a model developed by Siena Tenisci of Northwest Grief Tending, designed to make programs more accessible and support economic justice.
We also what to acknowledge our teachers and those on our Integrity Council, especially ahlay blakely and Holly Truhlar, for their advisement and words in offering these rituals in right relationship—specifically in how we honor the lineages of this work, how we handle money, and how we navigate conflict. Our language around tithing and refund accountability reflect learnings and are direct words written from these cultural lineage carriers, especialy ahlay, in doing this collective healing "soul work" in integrity.
This Grieving Man offering is a 3-day gathering staring on Friday, May 29th and ending on Sunday, May 31st. We're asking men to arrive between 11:30-1:30pm on Friday (please come having eaten lunch!). We will start our opening circle promptly at 2pm. We will then have a dinner at 6pm followed by a song and grief ritual. Saturday will be a full day of group processes, songs, story sharing, and connection with the land that includes a breakfast, lunch, dinner, and ends with a Dagara Grief Ritual. After some deep rest, Sunday will close out our time together with a big breakfast, sharing circle, dance, a Truth Mandala ritual from the Joanna Macy Work That Reconnects lineage, and finish up with a big feast and closing circle. We will finish up on the land around 4pm/5pm Sunday.
ACCOMMODATIONS AND FOOD
We will be asking all attendees to bring their own camping gear (tents, sleeping pads, bags, and pillow) to meet their own needs. There will be beautiful spots on the land to camp.
All of meals will be provided throughout the weekend by an amazing team of chefs. There will be vegan and gluten free options for those needing them. Please let us know any other food or dietary restrictions you have through the registration questions. Ample snacks will be provided throughout the weekend too.
RECIPROCITY
The cost of this event should not be a barrier to your feeling the call. Making this experience accessible to as many men as possible is important to us. That being said, the cost of this ritual exists so that the land, facilitators and organizers may be resourced. We offer scholarships to create as much flexibility in our pricing to meet the needs of all who are interested in showing up for this work.
- Supporting Tier: $750
This tier supports your community by allowing more need-based and BIPOC scholarships to be offered. Additionally, it helps cover the holistic costs of running this retreat by supporting fair wages for the facilitators and greater program accessibility through sliding scale options. Please select this tier if you are able to comfortably meet all of your basic needs and have the means to contribute towards greater economic and racial justice in this way. For more transparency about our budget and how it supports an allocated a percentage of reciprocity towards our elders, our Integrity Council of Women, and the Dagara Empowerment Water Project, please reach out to Jordan at [email protected]. Thank you for supporting this work! - Sustaining Tier (General Admission): $550
This tier covers the full costs of running this retreat by supporting fair wages for the facilitators and greater program accessibility through sliding scale options. Please register at this tier if you are able to comfortably meet all of your basic needs. If you have the means to contribute more towards greater economic and racial justice by enabling more need-based and BIPOC scholarships to be offered, please consider registering at the Supporting Tier above. Thank you for your support. - Supported Tier: $425
This tier falls short of covering the costs of running this retreat, but does offer some financial reciprocity towards this work. As a guide, this tier may be right for you if you stress about meeting your basic needs (food, housing, etc.) but still regularly achieve them. If you are able to comfortably meet your needs, please register at the Sustaining or Supporting Tiers above, which covers the full costs of running our retreat.
We also have scholarships available for those who are feeling the call to join Grieving Man but are feeling financial scarcity in their life. We prioritize offering scholarships to People of The Global Majority and working-class, cash poor families. For further inquiry please contact Jordan at [email protected].
Refund Policy: Partial refunds of 50% are available up to 14 days prior to the event date. After this period, refunds are no longer available. This policy helps to hold us all accountable and creates some protection for the facilitators and organizers. We ask that you notify as soon as possible if you are no longer able to attend.
Grieving Man donates 5% of net revenue towards building infrastructure for healthy water access for the Dagara Tribes of Burkina Faso, West Africa in reciprocity for the ripples of communal grief work Sobonfu + Malidoma Somé brought to the west in the 80's + 90's as an antidote to colonialism.
The sliding scale framework used here is based on a model developed by Siena Tenisci of Northwest Grief Tending, designed to make programs more accessible and support economic justice.
We also what to acknowledge our teachers and those on our Integrity Council, especially ahlay blakely and Holly Truhlar, for their advisement and words in offering these rituals in right relationship—specifically in how we honor the lineages of this work, how we handle money, and how we navigate conflict. Our language around tithing and refund accountability reflect learnings and are direct words written from these cultural lineage carriers, especialy ahlay, in doing this collective healing "soul work" in integrity.