Tender Masculinity for Gentle Men
Building a culture of trust, compassion, warmth, and grace within masculinity
When the moon is full, the veil thinned, we are coming together in emergent ritual with the belief that men can offer one another beautiful experiences of being witnessed, held, and celebrated.
We come together to investigate the way dominant patriarchal culture denies us our human right to tenderness and care. Our right to express our full emotional range: grief, anger, shame, desire, and more.
We seek accountability and companionship as we acknowledge and dismantle the ways that patriarchal harm moves through us, with the conviction that love is a liberatory force. We seek permission to face our fears and take refuge in connection with other men.
We come together to investigate the way dominant patriarchal culture denies us our human right to tenderness and care. Our right to express our full emotional range: grief, anger, shame, desire, and more.
We seek accountability and companionship as we acknowledge and dismantle the ways that patriarchal harm moves through us, with the conviction that love is a liberatory force. We seek permission to face our fears and take refuge in connection with other men.
Location
San Francisco / East Bay (address shared on registration)
Date & Time
April 12, 2025, 2:00 PM - 7:30 PM
If this is your first time, we understand you might be coming in with some apprehension. Can I trust a group of men to really hold me? Is this a space of liberation or merely indulgence? Your questions are so, so welcome here!
Some of us have been gathering over the last year around these exact questions, and we continue to bring this space forward because of a belief that trust and intimacy amongst men of integrity is essential for the world we want to live in.
What is emergent ritual?
Emergent ritual assumes that every precise group of beings — humans and more-than-humans — is brought together to do unique and important work. We will create space for the exact configuration of stories, experiences, questions, and dreams that arises on our day together to speak its own wisdom, and for all of us present to listen and be moved. Facilitators will offer some light structure to help everyone drop into a ritual space, but what happens in that space comes through the participation of all present, including you!
Schedule
We are asking folks to arrive between 2-230pm, so that we can open the circle together. The time we spend this afternoon will be a mix of intentional ritual and deep exhalation, where folks are free to wander and connect in more casual ways. We believe it's the mix of those two qualities of interaction that creates a transformative space.
We will arrange a dinner around 6pm, and you will be free to go by 9pm. There may be a gathering around a fire afterwards for those interested to stay longer.
Donation
This month's ritual will operate entirely on a donation basis. That means food, logistics, and facilitation are offered freely as gifts by those of us crafting the space. If you wish to offer something back, you can send a donation by Venmo or Zelle to [email protected]. If it helps, the suggested donation may be in the range of $50-100, but there is no wrong amount. All are welcome regardless of financial situation.
Some of us have been gathering over the last year around these exact questions, and we continue to bring this space forward because of a belief that trust and intimacy amongst men of integrity is essential for the world we want to live in.
What is emergent ritual?
Emergent ritual assumes that every precise group of beings — humans and more-than-humans — is brought together to do unique and important work. We will create space for the exact configuration of stories, experiences, questions, and dreams that arises on our day together to speak its own wisdom, and for all of us present to listen and be moved. Facilitators will offer some light structure to help everyone drop into a ritual space, but what happens in that space comes through the participation of all present, including you!
Schedule
We are asking folks to arrive between 2-230pm, so that we can open the circle together. The time we spend this afternoon will be a mix of intentional ritual and deep exhalation, where folks are free to wander and connect in more casual ways. We believe it's the mix of those two qualities of interaction that creates a transformative space.
We will arrange a dinner around 6pm, and you will be free to go by 9pm. There may be a gathering around a fire afterwards for those interested to stay longer.
Donation
This month's ritual will operate entirely on a donation basis. That means food, logistics, and facilitation are offered freely as gifts by those of us crafting the space. If you wish to offer something back, you can send a donation by Venmo or Zelle to [email protected]. If it helps, the suggested donation may be in the range of $50-100, but there is no wrong amount. All are welcome regardless of financial situation.
Who is holding this?
We are a group of men dedicated to the seldom known beauty of masculinity. To the spontaneous love and creativity that masculinity cultivates when gently nurtured. To the continual discovery and rediscovery of what it means to be masculine in our hearts; what it feels like to be masculine in our bodies.
Rishikesh Tirumalai
Rhythm-Keeper
Ricardo Valenzuela-Morin
Need Haver
Wei Li King
Cheerleader of healing & becoming
Words from past attendees
I’ve always seen myself as someone more comfortable around women.
The men’s group has definitely changed how I think about what kind of intimacy is possible in a male-coded space.
For me, each of the sessions felt like "going home".
I loved that the sessions felt open and expansive where everyone could fully express without talking over each other.
I loved that the sessions felt open and expansive where everyone could fully express without talking over each other.
I’ve felt so alone with myself when I feel like I’m not emotional, and it’s something I’ve been very embarrassed about admitting to others how hard crying is for me.
A huge thank you to the men’s group for being a container for that shame.
A huge thank you to the men’s group for being a container for that shame.
Loving my desire and releasing significant amount of shame I’ve held for having desire. Being into whoever the fuck I’m into.
Longer hugs.
More art.
Longer hugs.
More art.