Men are worthy of love, of discovering their unique and transformative purpose toward the common good, to be affirmed in their gifts and welcomed into communities in which they can share their needs. Our shared culture rarely recognizes this profound value. The aggressive alpha male is applauded, the isolated guy ignored, the multi-faceted vibrancy of manhood diminished. This is a crisis - but the crisis in masculinity is a crisis of storytelling.

Gender matters, but gender isn’t matter—it’s a story. The story of manhood and “masculinity” has been distorted with shadow stories lionizing domination, manipulation, violence and hyper-independence being normalized as the traits of a "real man." Along with this is the false assertion that gender equates to sex, that “masculine” means “man,” “feminine” means “woman." As a result, the "real man" is considered to be superior to other versions of masculinity, femininity, and other forms of being. Perhaps most consequentially, these shadow stories omit the inner life of the contemplative-steward or Firekeeper and the discerning recipient and giver of narratives that we call the Storyteller.

Led by pioneers in transformative storytelling and holistic work with men, amidst the stunning landscape of Western North Carolina in the Fall, The Storyteller & the Firekeeper Retreat aims to walk a visionary path to integrated masculinity: radically accepting of the kaleidoscopic spectrum of human experience, reimagining what it is to be a man, renovating in the places where aggression and dominance need to evolve into humane courage and interdependence; where silence and regret at the role men have played in stories of selfishness, scapegoating and selfishness matures into conscious listening and action, speaking out and speaking up, making the space bigger for everyone; and where playing games can metamorphose into a spirit of magic and welcome that flows into a life worth living.

The invitation is to imagine ourselves as firekeepers and storytellers.

The Firekeeper - those who tend the hearth, gather the fuel and know how to use it (and also when to douse the flames), and provide an anchoring steward for ourselves as individuals and in community.

The Storyteller - the one who makes sense of it all, discerning the most life-giving ways of telling ourselves into being. If stories shape our lives for better or worse, then the inner storyteller - animated by the firekeeper - deserves as much attention as the need for food, water, air, and shelter.

Indeed, the story we tell, and the parts of ourselves we allow into the light, for reimagining, renovating, and re-enchanting, may be the most vital shelter any of us ever experience.

But more than imagining and experimenting with the roles of storyteller and firekeeper, there is the underlying need for nurturance, acceptance, and affirmation beyond whatever roles men may play. As bell hooks wrote:

To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being. When we love maleness, we extend our love where males are performing or not. Performance is different from simply being. In patriarchal culture males are not allowed simply to be who they are and to glory in their unique identity. Their value is always determined by what they do. In an anti-patriarchal culture males do not have to prove their value and worth. They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be cherished and loved.

So we invite you to join us for a long weekend of storytelling, music, cinema, workshops, hikes, reflective time, food that honors the ecosystem and our desire for a rainbow of flavor, and an abundance of community weaving a path toward a more whole, inclusive, creative manhood: one in which acceptance, affirmation, and love are foundational.

WHAT'S HAPPENING AT THE RETREAT?
The full schedule will be announced in the coming months, but we're likely to include much of the following:

Welcome Circle/Seeing Each Other
Small Groups: what are your intentions, desires, needs, and offerings this weekend?
Elder Conversations
Spiritual Direction
Orienteering/Hiking
Offers and Needs Market
Idea Feedback Circles

And...

• * Movie screenings 
• * Conversation on consent
• * Grief Session
• * Dreamwork 
• * Enneagram to better understand your life
• * Facing Dragons Together
• * Conscious political pluralism across lines of difference
• * Guest panel of women thinking about evolving manhood: what they want to say, encourage, and challenge 
• * Evolving manhood through transformative storytelling
• * Transformative Storytelling Performance
• * Transformative songwriting 101: Learning how to tell a transformative story
• * Gender 101: Everything I wanted to know about gender but was afraid to ask
• * Organized hike 
• Sexuality conversation
• * Mission process/vocation of the how: discovering how you’re called to as much as what you’re called to.
• * Heart-centered business for the common good
• * “Play/creativity options” - such as movement, improv, visual art making.
• * Full-spectrum drumming performance and community collaboration.
• * What is a firekeeper?

And lots of opportunities for unstructured time, connection, rest, renewal, and spontaneity...